We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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