the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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