I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
