Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Shame is for Republicans.
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