I want to stick my p in your. b.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
