just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
mondays should just be called national damage control day
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
