I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
