Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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