How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
