WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
