I think im going to throw up on grandma
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
