So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
