just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
