You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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