Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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