haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
