I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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