party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh god it's open bar.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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