At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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