We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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