the condom got lost in my hair
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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