Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Best friends brother. Beat that.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
