Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So vagazzling was a success
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
