i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i've created a new STD.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
