Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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