need another drink. this is the easiest way
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it's like heaven, but drunker
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
