I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
