Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
