Just cropdusted the office
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
