Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
