i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We have so much sex to catch up on
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
