Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
