Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
