The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
