i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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