Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
