A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
