we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
