His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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