im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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