I'm jealous of your bromance
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
