and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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