Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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