I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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