I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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