How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
