Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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