Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
