people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
