That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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